Mismatching
by Flamberge
Summary: Dozla gets a new skill and tries to matchmake between L'archael and Rennac. Somehow, he ends up pairing the wrong couples. Chaos ensues!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Flamberge: Hi everyone! I got the idea for this story on vacation! I call it… (Riid and Rapier do a drum roll against their will) Mismatching!

Flamberge: I don't own Fire Emblem, so there.

Dozla was a man of cheerful personality and a good (If somewhat creepy) laugh. Many people in the camp were frightened of him due to his odd sense of humor and easy-to-make-fun-of demeanor. But, despite this… odd personality, he had a wonderful skill. A skill buried so deep in his shallow mind that he couldn't pull it out if he wanted to… the ability to match make!

This hidden ability awoke on a day like any other. Erika's band of mercenaries was marching to some god-forsaken battleground in the middle of nowhere when Dozla got the urge to get a hot dog at a random stack stand in the god-forsaken middle of nowhere. On his way over he saw a fuming Rennac.

"No good, stuck-up pampered princess." Rennac fumed.

"Gwah ha ha, what's the problem, laddie?" Dozla asked joyfully, forgetting the hot dog entirely.

"Wonderful! First that idiot L'archael refuses to pay me, and now you walk up to try and make conversation! I'm doomed! Doomed to the end of Magvel!" He yelled, pounding his fist against a rock, "Dozla, would you mind giving me a bit of privacy?"

"Gwa ha ha! Of course, laddie! I'll go get a hot dog, I think!" Dozla said, and started back on his wonderful quest for a hot dog.

Soon he came upon a fuming L'archael furiously hitting a rock with a Fortify stave much to the dismay of Colm, who had shelled the gold to pay for the thing out of his own earnings at the secret shop. Of course, L'archael's puny Troubadour arms were too weak to break it unless she used it eight times. "Stupid, greedy, lazy, good-for-nothing mercenary and his requests for money. Honestly! He just doesn't rest until I refuse to pay him and walk away! Gah! I hate him so much!" she fumed.

"Why is everyone so angry today? Lady L'archael, Rennac… wait… its coming to the surface of my shallow mind…" a blue glow surrounded Dozla and he jumped into the air. "They like each other!"

A few yards away, Saleh saw the new skill acquirement and, emo serious sage he is, jumped into the air and drew poor little Ewan into a bone-crushing hug with his skinny magic-user arms. "Ewan, we have something to examine!"

"And what… might that be… master Saleh?" Ewan said, choking.

"Dozla has acquired a new skill and we must find out what it is! So go find Knoll and persuade him to join us! It'll be so fun! We'll have Elfire marshmallow roasts, and create fields full of flowers, and"

"Master… how're we supposed to do this… if I've been choked to death?" Ewan asked.

Saleh released his heath hold and lost his happy moment. "Sorry."

Ewan was all too happy to get to Knoll.

A/N: Fla,mberge: Yeah, it was short… but the chapters will get longer.

Rapier: I still say Dozla's an idiot.

Riid: Of course he is! What luzr doesn't know that?


	2. Chapter 2

Flamberge: I don't own Fire Emblem. That's all I can say.

Dozla ran back to the camp, his newly acquired ability still making him glow blue in the creepiest way possible. Then he remembered his need for a hot dog. As we walked, Alison the hint girl skipped onto the screen to give a helping hint about Dozla's new ability. His is how the player reacts. Player orders Dozla to kill Alison. Alison cannot be killed. Said player gets angry at Alison and her endless HP. Player presses start button to shut her up. Player continues on with game.

Dozla pondered the situation, which is really weird if you think about it. I mean, Dozla _thinking_? What am I thinking? Gosh only knows. So, our favorite empty-headed berserker is thinking about how to successfully pair up his employer and her other minio- I mean hired hand. While he was thinking, Colm walked up to him.

"Hey, creepy old guy! Is it true that I'm vastly overshadowed by another totally awesome thief from a game similar to this one?" He yelled in Dozla's ear.

"Gwah ha ha, what makes you think I have the answer to that, laddie?" Dozla replied.

"Well… old people are supposed to be wise, so… since you don't know, I'll be leaving." Colm said, itching to get away from the man with the killer axe and little to no brain.

"Laddie, what do ye know about Lady L'Archael and Rennac?" Dozla asked seriously.

Colm was unnerved by this, as he had never seen Dozla being serious about anything, replied, "Ummm… They… like each other?" he guessed.

"Excellent observation, m'boy!" came a new voice. It was so solemn and serious, it could only be…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! It's a shaman! Hide me, I have low resistance!" Colm yelled, hiding behind a rock.

"Oh, come now. Just because Novala killed you while our tactician was drunk, that doesn't give you the right to be prejudiced against magic users!" Knoll said without any emotion whatsoever.

"I think it damn well does!" Colm retorted.

"Watch your language, young man! Plus, you're not supposed to remember that! I used my special level-restart code!" the tactician yelled from Ephraim and Erika's tent. The fact that it could be heard was amazing, because the tent was three miles away through the woods.

"I'm older than you, loser boy!" Colm retorted.

"Yeah, well… well… I'm a prodigy! So there!" the tactician yelled back and started sobbing.

"I'm the resident prodigy!" yelled Lute from a mile further in the woods.

"So, Colm, will you help me pair them up?" Dozla asked.

"Uhhh… Okay…"

"Great! We start immediately!" Dozla yelled triumphantly. He looked around. "… You there, sniper girl!"

"Y-Yes?" Neimi answered from across the clearing.

"No! Not her! She'll start crying and- and blow our cover!" Colm pleaded, proud that he had thought of the excuse.

"Would you rather have Innes help, laddie?" Dozla asked maliciously.

"Gwah! NO!" Colm yelled. He was notorious for having stolen Innes's bow and the sniper was always looking to kick him out of the mercenary group.

Dozla's stupid grim reemerged, "It's settled then! Lass, would you help us with a little task?" He asked.

"O-okay."

The next day the three reluctant companions put Dozla's amazingly believable plan into action. They were all currently spying on Rennac as he repeatedly stabbed a piece of wood after another argument with his employer about payment. After all his "work" he wasn't getting paid. Of course, if he knew why… well that would ruin the story, now wouldn't it?

So our three matchmakers are lurking in the forest (Who knew that any forest could hide Dozla?) when Dozla start briefing them about the plan… again. "So, I'll get L'Archael over here, and you, lass, will shoot the rings into that space between them. Sounds good?"

"Yeah, but Dozla?" Colm asked.

"Yes, laddie?"

"You've sorta… briefed us already." Colm pointed out.

"Gwah ha ha!" Did I, now?" Dozla replied, and walked off to find his employer, leaving Colm and Neimi alone… in the middle of the woods… unsupervised… what the heck is he thinking?

It was getting closer to dinnertime, and Dozla still hadn't returned. By some small miracle, Rennac hadn't discovered the sniper and the thief, the small miracle being a combination of high speed and skill on Colm and Neimi's part. Not a single word had been exchanged until Colm took out the rings to put them on the arrow. The rings were made from a reforged silver sword that Colm had brought in. The armorer had been all too happy to oblige. He already had his ring mold out because prince Ephraim had requested a pair. Colm figured that the guy had read way too many romance novels. Little did he know that it was support conversations that he listened to.

"Hey Colm?" Neimi said.

"Yeah Neimi?" Colm replied.

"Do you…" She blushed, "Like anyone?"

"Well, I have plenty of friends. Rennac, Cormag, you…" he replied, counting up his short list of friends with his fingers.

She blushed even more, "Not like that… I mean _like_ like."

"Oh! Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not quite sure." He said, laying back against a tree.

"Oh…" Neimi said, trailing off.

"Out of curiosity, why do you ask?" Colm inquired.

"Oh… N-No reason." She started to cry softly.

"Gwah! Neimi, please! Don't cry! You'll blow our cover!" Colm yelled. Not knowing what he was doing, he put his hand on her arm. "Please. I can't… bear to see you cry." He said softly.

She sniffed, "Really?"

"Yeah. Now please, if there's any way I can make you stop, please tell me. I want to help." He said, turning her head so that they were face to face.

She sniffed again, "Colm, I-I love you." She said quietly.

Colm was taken aback, but returned with a grin, "Love you too."

Down below, Dozla waved his hands wildly to signal that Neimi sould fire, but she was… preoccupied.

Fin. (Until chapter next)


End file.
